Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
The real issue at hand here is where your hope is placed; in who, in what, why, and where? The first time I read Proverbs 13:12, I thought to myself, “YES, this is what I am feeling…what I am going through!” Somehow I convinced myself that this powerful yet often misunderstood scripture justified my sick heart. In time I realized this verse was there not to justify my sickness of heart but to get me to refocus on the Lord and His power to heal my heart.
Is it really possible to deal with the disappointments of failure, defeat, grief, shame and lost hope? All of us at one time have experienced disappointment in others, in circumstances, in self and often have felt disappointment with God…if that is even possible! Often these feelings are so real some have taken their lives, reasoning that the pain of these failures will “go away” if I were just “gone”. Although not true, these thoughts plague the depressed, distressed, disheartened, indebted and doleful souls of some of our best friends and from time to time have even destroyed the faith of disciples. How is this possible? Why would anyone have to go through this? What is God doing or allowing? Have those who say they have “overcome” these things simply lied to themselves to temporarily feel better in public and yet when alone all the disappointment comes rushing back? Is it just an act, a lie and false hope that will never be answered or healed in us? Is there something real and truly possible in overcoming disappointment?
Over the next few weeks we will study out “Dealing with Disappointment” and strive to find strength in our God, no matter what is going on around us. The focus in these articles will be finding peace, comfort, renewed vision and great faith through the Word of God. So many “heroes” in the Scripture have faced disappointment and overcome. Therefore, through the study of their lives and the stories surrounding their circumstances we will find our path to overcome as well! There are at least five ways disappointment attacks us: failure, defeat, grief, shame and lost hope. How do we deal with these “giants” of disappointment? By understanding that: failure is not final, defeat is not definitive, grief is grueling…for a time, shame is supplanted by grace and lost hope is found in our Lord. This first week lets attack failure.
- Failure Is Not Final
In the eighteenth year of the reign of Jeroboam son of Nebat, Abijah became king of Judah, and he reigned in Jerusalem three years. His mother’s name was Maacah daughter of Abishalom. He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his forefather had been. Nevertheless, for David’s sake the Lord his God gave him a lamp in Jerusalem by raising up a son to succeed him and by making Jerusalem strong. For David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord and had not failed to keep any of the Lord’s commands all the days of his life — except in the case of Uriah the Hittite. 1 Kings 15:1-5
Personally I have failed more than I care to think about when it comes to sin, lack of character, finishing things started, relationships and just simply being a disciple. So often it seemed better to quit and just give up! Thoughts of going back to the world and my old sinful nature consumed my thinking each time I failed the Lord in overcoming sin. Yet when I study out the life of David, I am in awe! The story here in 1 Kings 15 amazes me. All the horrible sins of Jeroboam are mentioned and the specifics of his life of hatred toward God and the truth are spoken of in other places. Clearly this man was far from God and hated the truth. Then we read about David…the “man after God’s own heart” and it can leave you feeling overwhelmed due to our own failures compared this spiritual giant. “For David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord and had not failed to keep any of the lord’s commands all the days of his life”… But the Bible does not let us forget his failure: “except in the case of Uriah the Hittite”.
Recalling the story of David and Uriah (2 Samuel 11:1-17) one must remember King David choosing to NOT go out to battle in the spring, “when kings go out to battle” and then late in the afternoon watching Bathsheba from the roof of his house. She was bathing and David gave in to his sinful lust. Calling for her, they were immoral and she conceived. In his failure, David chose to further sin and worked a plan to have Uriah leave the battlefield to spend time with his wife, Bathsheba, and yet Uriah refused to be with his wife even after David got him drunk! Once David realized he could not cover up the adultery, he deceitfully involved Joab in an ambush to have the troops pull back from the fighting around Uriah, thus creating a murder on the battlefield. David and Joab followed through on the ruse and covered over the sin…hoping this failure would “go away”. As we all know though, there is a price for sin.
In a show of amazing grace David marries Bathsheba and life goes on. Finally, Nathan is sent by God to confront him and David finally sees the devastation of his sin (2 Samuel 12:1-23). Nathan tells David the child would die due to the king’s sin yet David still pleads for mercy. The child in fact dies and one of David’s greatest failures comes to an end, the hand of God bringing on the necessary blow of discipline. David’s heart turns fully back to the Lord as he owns his sin and quickly repents. He accepts the discipline and trusts the hardship is from God and is due to his own failures of laziness, lust and then murder. In all this, the Holy Spirit still says, “David had done what was right in the eyes of the Lord…except in the case of Uriah the Hittite”.
What can we learn from this intense story of failure? That failure is NOT final! David had every chance to stay in his sin and could have remained hard hearted toward God like his predecessor Saul had done. Somewhere in the confusion of sin and the failings of his sinful nature David remembered his love for God and God’s “unfailing love” for him. Amazingly, David remained the king, returned to his first love (the Lord), he stayed faithful to Bathsheba and loved her. She then gave birth to the next king, Solomon. What a miracle of God! What mercy is shown! This is the heart of our God when we fail. God will not give up, He will not falter, He will not fail in His love for us. He will discipline us…but not to hurt us, rather, to turn our hearts back to the One who can and will rescue us from our failures. As you and I face our failures let us remember to turn back to the God who never fails to show grace and mercy. After removing Saul, he made David their king. He testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’ “From this man’s descendants God has brought to Israel the Savior Jesus, as he promised. Acts 13:22-24. You may find it surprising but 35 times the scripture refers to God’s “unfailing love”. Let us be quick to repent and always turn to our God and find victory after failure, thus overcoming and dealing with disappointment.
He stoops down to make us great! (2 Samuel 22:36)
Matt Sullivan
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